It's not always easy to find things in life that should never intersect. There are those 7 degrees of separation and all. Besides, life would be ultimately dull if things that really weren't supposed to meet never did. See most Match dates, for example.
But, there are two things that really should never have met. Male Speedos and this world. True, a well-shaved, well-oiled swimmer dawning this teeny weeny apparel could arguable go a little faster in the water. But, now, there is the body suit. You know, the one that was so controversial in competitive swimming a few years back. Come on people! Who really cares about fairness. It's NOT a Speedo!!! And, that's a good thing. The body suit has my vote, hands down.
A Speedo can cause extreme embarrassment for both the wearer and the looky-loo. There's a guy I know who used to walk home from the pool across his college grounds wearing a Speedo and carrying only a towel. He was from another country (maybe even another world), not realizing this was largely inappropriate and perhaps the funniest thing ever to happen on campus! We need to protect innocent foreigners from future follies.
No offense, of course, to the hard working people at the Speedo company. Thankfully, you can happily go back to designing next years' female suit models and even throw in some protective fabrics for the UV-conscious. Just remember, some girls still love to get tans of stars and stripes under their suit - there's still a market for that. That's interesting. Maybe even fun and useful. Male Speedo's...not so much.
So, here is my suggestion. Stop manufacturing the skimpy, male Speedo. There are plenty of other places to get entertainment these days. Harlem Shake. Hugh Jackman. Heck, even Honey Boo Boo.
That's it from the juncture of far too much information and this world.
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